You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
