I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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