You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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