i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
