I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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