I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
