So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
COCAINE IS GR8
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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