i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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