So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
