So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
