i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
