do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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