got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just pee around me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
