What a fucking waste of an outfit
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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