just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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