SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
