I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
organizing the empties. That sober.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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