I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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