I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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