what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
