a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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