I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
