3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
