I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
why do cheetos always look like penises
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
