Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
