R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
