dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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