wat bout pragnant strippers??
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
