you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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