Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
