i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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