sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
