Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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