that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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