I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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