Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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