Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
