its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
