We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You ate ashes out of my bong
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm always down for nudity.
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