She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
