Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dick very happy bro
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
