Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
