what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
