It's Friday. Sex?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
