Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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