if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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