we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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