We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
