Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
birth control should be required to get into college
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
