I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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